Soldier in Fatigues

Barb Marshall: Your Real Deal Christian Mentor

Open, honest communication saves marriages.

Soldier in Fatigues

Out of nowhere a couple of nights ago, my husband brought up a private issue we had not discussed since we remarried in 1996. Our avoidance offended Ken. Even though I felt I had the right at the time, the past remained stagnant and in place. Like a fish tank in need of cleaning, our avoidance further dirtied the water. Judgement, criticism, and anger put a curse on our marriage. Satan knew it. He used it against us time and time again. He took advantage of this elephant in the room for over 20 years.

Ken’s honesty opened my eyes.  I prayed to God for guidance, clarity and the leading of Holy Spirit. I asked for a Rhema Word (Spoken Word of God) in how to fight this battle.  The word I heard was “forgive.”  Not that I needed to forgive, but to ask Ken for forgiveness. I prayed for the right time to ask for forgiveness which came much sooner than I had anticipated.


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Hours later Ken and I were in the kitchen at the same time. Ken asked me how I was, and my response was, “Please forgive me for humiliating you twenty years ago.” I acknowledged the hurt and pain I had caused him. The truth was out and now could be worked through. Our marriage soared past mediocre to thriving.

Forgiveness, in the asking and giving, lifted the heavy burden off the both of us.


Stand firm therefore, having girded your loins with truth. – Ephesians 6:14 a NASB


What is truth? This is what Pilate rhetorically said when he sentenced Jesus to the cross, fully aware of His innocence. This question remains relevant today. Truth is a vital part of the armor of God.

At first, “girded your loins” may sound a bit odd and rather personal. It is! Your loins are in the center of your body – they are your reproductive area. You could even interpret the loins as the center of where thoughts begin, ultimately emanating forth in word and deed.  These thoughts need to be protected by truth.

With that in mind, this truth can bring life or death, as life and death is revealed in the words of our mouth. Angels and demons listen to your words, so it is important to gird your mouth with truth. The truth will set you free. Your loins are in the center of who you are, your loins are what comes out of your mouth. Put the truth in your mouth.


So Jesus was saying to those Jews who had believed Him, “If you continue in My word, then you are truly disciples of Mine; and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.”  –John 8:31-32 NASB


Life Changing Tip

  • Ask the Lord to show you the hidden truths in your life that need to be dealt with and to reveal it to you.
  • When you receive this truth, ask Him in how to deal with it.
  • Follow HIS lead.
  • Meditate on Psalm 32.

 

Psalm 32:2-11 NLT

Yes, what joy for those whose record the Lord has cleared of guilt, whose lives are lived in complete honesty!  When I refused to confess my sin, my body wasted away, and I groaned all day long. Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me. My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat. Interlude

Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.” And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone. Interlude

Therefore, let all the godly pray to you while there is still time, that they may not drown in the floodwaters of judgment. For you are my hiding place; you protect me from trouble. You surround me with songs of victory. Interlude

The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.  Do not be like a senseless horse or mule that needs a bit and bridle to keep it under control.”

Many sorrows come to the wicked, but unfailing love surrounds those who trust the Lord.

So rejoice in the Lord and be glad, all you who obey him! Shout for joy, all you whose hearts are pure!

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